Oh, I've thought about writing... I've started to write, but the words just didn't seem worthwhile.
I used to write everyday... about everything. I've felt stuck, stagnant, and insignificant the last few years... somehow I've convinced myself that I should only write when life is at it's best... or at it's worst. What about the in between? That's where I am right now... why shouldn't I record what's happening, or not happening, at this moment in my life?
Times have been tough since a tragic event this past summer that left my brain in a tangle of emotional turmoil... and the first few months of this year started off with a series of sad news, trials, and tribulations. As we've been navigating through a difficult journey, I've also faced unexpected change, rejection, and the feeling of being forgotten.
Maybe life is not what I was expecting... or what I've hoped it would be during my 25th year... but I am hoping & praying that life begins to glow brighter & that I will learn lessons that help me grow & flourish through this less than lackluster time. (Yes, even less than lackluster.)
I am going to start blogging again... but for myself this time. Somehow I started believing the lie that I don't have anything worth writing about... I stopped taking photos with my camera because I've started to feel like my photos weren't good enough anymore. What does that even mean? I used to do these things as a way to express the creativity inside of me... why would I let the thoughts that others think of me... or the words they say to me, dictate the way I live?
I am tired of being weighed down by the world. I need to be free & full of joy about life again. The good cannot begin until the bad ends.
So, here's to a new ending & a new beginning.
Goodbye & hello.