Sometimes I wish I could blend in with these walls.

I'm tired of myself. I want to be someone else.

I used to be inspired. I used to be inspiring. Now I just feel useless & foolish.
A wasted, empty, broken failure.
Cracked, crushed, smashed.
Waiting to be put back together again.

I don't even know who I am anymore.
I don't belong anywhere anymore.

Empty & purposeless.
Aimless. Apathetic.
Crushed spirit. Broken body.
Praying for change.
Hoping for revolution & renewal.

I'm tired of false starts. I'm tired of dead ends.
I need less drowning & more land.
More light & more air.
I need to breathe! I need to live!

Don't you know I need you?
I need you.
The End.

Sometimes, I wish I could just blend in with these walls.


Jordan said...

We all have those days. I often find comfort in little sayings like these...

"Remember my affliction and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall! My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me. But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." - Lamentations 19:23

Also, we can't forget what some of our favorite Canadian people EVER once sang..."Who feels tired and under-qualified? Who feels deserted, and hung out to dry? This is a song for the broken, the beat-up, and so-called losers: Little is much when God's in it, and no one can fathom the plans He holds..."

Sorry that was kind of long. I just like to provide sources of encouragement for people, haha!

rachel said...

only Jesus can put you back together! JESUS IS THE ANSWER. I LOVE YOU.

Ellie said...

Doll! This post made me so melancholic for you! I so dearly understand your desire for change, inspiration, and fullness that would fill the already empty void of waste. A barren land, we feel, but though you are bare, I promise you are not barren! Let life be birthed from your cinders! It will come, I promise! I know it's hard to find beauty in the void, but trust God's most infinite sovereignty. I know He will bring us to fullness once more! :) I love you and I'll be praying for you as always!