Dream beings are human beings.

Every once & awhile you meet someone who is truly iridescent. And then no one else, nothing else, can compare.

Maybe you meet them in a dream. In your head. Maybe this person isn't even real.

Perhaps this person is inspired by a human being you've met before.

But maybe he's only a made up person... a dream version - taking up the space in your brain,

replacing the empty, echoing halls of your head.

Sometimes I meet them when I'm asleep. In that dusty, little corner of my subconscious self.

The place where worlds collide. Dream beings become human beings

& the things I thought were real turn into dream scenes.

I don't know if they're alive or dead... but they're in my head. Living their lives & dreaming their dreams.

Moving, breathing people, held together by stories & sticks, and wishes & bones.

Maybe he's only a hope or a half-concocted fantasy, a phantom - wandering the melancholic, hollow halls of my veins, born within the echoing walls that house the lazy, hazy yearnings of my slowly dying heart.

All I know is that they are real to me. And that I know them. They know me.

Sometimes they know me better than myself.

(or maybe I'm just sleeping.)

Troubled is my middle name.

My room is a mess.
My head is a mess.
My life is a mess.

Too much clutter.
Too much confusion.
Too much chaos.

Cacophony.

Troubled is my middle name.
Failure follows far too closely.
Negativity, nipping at my heels &
doubts just envelope me.

Dark clouds & dark thoughts are my closest friends.
Shadows & lies... and black nights, and sighs.

Looking towards the light --- with clouds in these eyes,
dreaming of the day this darkness will end.

I want to remember!
I want to rediscover!
To remix. To recreate. To realize. To revolutionize.

I want to rip off this disguise...
start again, be someone else: be someone new.

But I can't.

My life is a mess.
My head is a mess.
My room is a mess.

Everything about me is a mess.

(But maybe you can change the ending to this tragic story.)

Sometimes I wish I could blend in with these walls.

I'm tired of myself. I want to be someone else.



I used to be inspired. I used to be inspiring. Now I just feel useless & foolish.
A wasted, empty, broken failure.
Cracked, crushed, smashed.
Waiting to be put back together again.

I don't even know who I am anymore.
I don't belong anywhere anymore.

Empty & purposeless.
Aimless. Apathetic.
Crushed spirit. Broken body.
Stagnant.
Praying for change.
Hoping for revolution & renewal.

I'm tired of false starts. I'm tired of dead ends.
I need less drowning & more land.
More light & more air.
I need to breathe! I need to live!

Don't you know I need you?
I need you.
The End.

Sometimes, I wish I could just blend in with these walls.

Off to work I go & To Narnia & the North!

Two new things:

1. I am starting a new job on Monday.

2. I just created a Tumblr page.

After nine months of hoping & praying, I'm finally starting a temporary, full time job this week. I've spent months working on my photography, assisting other photographers with shoots every once & awhile, babysitting more than I have ever babysat in my life, & volunteering at The Current, the radio station where I did my internship.

This new adventure is not a dream job, but it's a start! I'll be working for a company that score standardized testing... I'll be grading reading comprehension to be exact. What comes after the end of April... we shall see, but for now... off to work I go!

Speaking of new adventures, I'll still be posting here on this lovely little blog when I have significant things to say, but I just started a Tumblr page. (As if I need another website to live on in internetland.) For a daily dose of inspiration - in the form of photographs & art, film & television, sound & colors, stories & words, thoughts & dreams, join me here at: To Narnia & The North!

If you're on tumblr too... send me your link & follow me so we can inspire each other! <3

Come further up, come further in!

CEE

Last Night's Daydream.

_______________________
Sometimes I'm tired of being me.

Tired of being caught in the in-between.

Partly numb, but partly living... living only because I'm still breathing.

A whisper of breath left inside, life is a sliver in my soul... shrinking smaller & smaller; now the size of a splinter, cold and frozen like ice, chilling my veins-- coursing through my arteries, a frosty, frigid rushing winter river.

Penetrating, piercing ice.

I can feel it seeping through my soul, filling up my lungs with snow, stolen life encased in a clear, glass house between my bones.

So why can't I wake up?

Why can't I smash the glass & melt the ice, to take back what belongs to me?

Stuck in a dream that I just can't get out of-- knowing that I'm on the edge of dying,

but clinging to the hope that one day I'll open my eyes

& find out that my bones have been thawed out after all.

I want to tear off this mask, the face that pretends to be me, but really isn't anyone at all.

I don't even know who I am anymore.

Inspiration in Pictorial form.

I want to be a part of something soul shifting.

Something that moves people to their inner cores.

I'm just not sure what that is yet.

______________________________________

Just a few delicious photos from Vogue & American Photo Booth, an amazing book chronicling the history of the photobooth in Europe and America.

I'm always dreaming about glorious fashion shoots & owning a vintage photobooth some day. I can't wait until I can stop dreaming & start doing something innovative & remarkable. I want to leave something beautiful behind in this world when I leave this land.

The Wonders of Washington: Seattle's Lovely Landscapes.

Seattle is made up of so many intriguing lines, colors, angles, and architecture. Here are a few bonus shots of some of my favorite buildings & landscapes that caught my attention while wandering around the city!

And this concludes The Wonders of Washington!